Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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