yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
is it fun? or sober?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
