I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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