I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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