with your own penis?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
