She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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