Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
