I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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