i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
