I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think I died a long time ago.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
