bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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