So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
