He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
