i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She bit a glass in half.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
