Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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