awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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