that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
