Your mouth is God's brothel.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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