we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
