Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
