fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
