What a fucking waste of an outfit
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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