Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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