so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
