The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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