u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I got her a Nickelback box set.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
