What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
