How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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