I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
