i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
