i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
