do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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