I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I AM VODKA MAN
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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