We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
