I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
