No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
