There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
