Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
