You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
