It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Randomize
