Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize