Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
