: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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