Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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