woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
