you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So squirting runs in the family.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Your cock deserves a montage
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
