Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
this will be a night to untag.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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