Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
