btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
