11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
