you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
