Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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