it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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