he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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