And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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