PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize