Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Randomize
