I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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