So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Michael Bay diarrhea
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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