the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
